My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
