You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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