Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
