I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
