After last night, I could never be a politician.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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