I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
