You really coming over, don't trick.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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