she woke up with a sticky ear
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize