Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
