I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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