Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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