so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
