She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
