He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she peed on how many people?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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