No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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