Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
