what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
