Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she smelled like a LAN party
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
