My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
