My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I smell stomach acid.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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