We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
