found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
