Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
