reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I believe in your delicious
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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