Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
