Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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