i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize