if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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