Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize