Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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