dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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