David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my being single is dangerous.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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