can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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