? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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