You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
