the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
