So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
