I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
