it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
