You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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