So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
