College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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