I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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