I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
