Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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