i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
