Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
