OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
