I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
