I smell stomach acid.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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