Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
