Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
