i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Will exercising make me less horny?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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