It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
