Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
