is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
