im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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