WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
They are going to name an STD after you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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