Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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