I wannas sexs uuuuu
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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