there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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