i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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