How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
