The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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