I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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