Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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