when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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