You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
