omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
