love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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